Fate & Memories

Go on !

2011-05-31T09:54:00.000-07:00

Phew... this few days was tiring... LM? sigh... just don't understand why everything seems so bad... Tired, why I feel so tired? there isn't any motivation. where !? Where izzit?!

Few days Back ~ Was chatting with My cousin who staying outside going through a lonely world... and we discuss about future . Future? his eyes, words, every single movement shows me that. He , felt that his future were dark...

Sigh. life. We have only one life , everybody have only one life... and we choose our life... but most of them... we actually given up our decision in our life because we are just too tired of fighting anymore... and in the end? we just keep going and running in this hectic , busy life... Everything was piece of shit when bad things keep happening in our life... or we just hardly get what we really want...

Well... If i thinking life is piece of shit... If we change another view on watching how life could be... yes, we can make life interesting... Its true... but, achieving it is another matter.

Diving is one of the example that i found life is interesting... Woots ! XD Yeah ! diving ! haha , imagine u were swimming in this beautiful underworld... covered by wonders ~ and start laying at the sea bed and look up the water... haha , yeah... its really beautiful... but things which is beautiful will never last long... Diving only last few days... sooner or later... we still have to get back to work, and start dreaming for the next autumn...

Phew... gonna try search for joy in a dog's life... not gonna step on pop.

The Light In The Darkness

2010-12-03T11:10:00.000-08:00

From since the end of LM agm... I have expecting something bad will happen for the onwards of my life in secondary life... Well... yeah , its tired... very tired.... but I guess this is the definition of life ~ we learn from our own failure ... we improve ... And our life goes on...

Recently Problems appear in my club... no choice ~ There is only one way... face it and solve it... Life is so random... sometimes we can be so happy ~ so high ~ crazy around... sometimes when the problems comes... we sad... we emo... can't do anything... but i guess that is the way on improving our self.... Sigh... I used to share my personal experience to others in order to solve their problem, confront them... but how about myself? I still need alots of guts to face it... Guts? haha should think about it how to gain it...

After those things happen ... Came to a silents night... I will still start missing the one i love before... Sigh... I guess this problem is fading away ... far from my heart... and left some little pieces of memories , reminds me of her... Well... same quotes for myself... The darkness is before the dawn... the dawn is coming...

Believe in yourself... Everything will be alright...

Get Off The Fence...

2010-11-20T08:49:00.000-08:00

Its been awal that i have closed my blog for myself to review ~ Sigh... still lost and can't decide what should i do, which is my next step... give up ? or continue loving her ...

sigh... just told my friend... actually I can think both way... for thinking positively by giving up her... I told myself that ... in CHS , 3000 students... I found my love... how about this big world? billions of people , why couldn't i find a 2nd girl who know me well , who care me well... or even better ? haha... thats the positive thinking of giving up ... but how about thinking negatively ? I can't have her anymore... we can't share secrets anymore... and months of Strong bond of friendship just suddenly, disappear... can't recover again... never...

Actually life needs alot of fate to meet someone u love ,someone you care... like friends , cousin , family or love one... and now... its fate who brought us together... and just because we can't manage well... we can't be together... and someone said... its just the matter of time... wrong timing... i guess both of us are just wrong timing ... where we meet at the wrong time at the wrong place... should i just give up her and depends on fate again? does fate gives 2nd chance? sigh... All this thing are just happen naturally... the force is just too large... I can't control it... tired...

Well...I heard of a quote ... is says... "It doesn't matter which side of the fence you get off on sometimes. What is matters most is getting off. You cannot make progress without making decisions." -by Jim Rohn- . I guess its time for me to get off...

I guess ... my decision... had made... give up ? yeah... i guess...
Take care... ( to the one I spare my tears before ... )

Waterfall

2010-10-30T17:59:00.000-07:00

Sign... this few days... can't stand well... can't see the road clearly...

Recently just searching for motivation from internet... one of the method is tear everything memorable between me and her... but how? yes , i manage to delete her contact... yes , i manage to delete every message in my phone that she sent although once awal i wil look back to recall back those memories... but how could i actually tear the birthday card she gave me? sign...I really dunno whats my next step... so blur...

I guess is time for me to release all of them to the nature... around 9.30a.m... i will begin my trip today... to visit waterfall at semenyih... hope it change my mood for this year...

Listener... Lost a great listener... I guess I just share too much of my secret...
time to keep some...

需要人陪

2010-10-30T00:01:00.000-07:00

Friday... 29/10/10.
Wearing a heavy weighted shirt... working for a famous club who everybody knows... tired... once i finish my work... As usual, grabbed my bag and bottle... but this time... its all alone...

While i going for my next meeting... memories fly around in my sight... The place are the same... but the memories and the people appear in there ... is different... miss all the moment i had with my close friend... But my mind suddenly popped on something... that is everything is lonely , when you came to this world... you came by yourself... with empty hands... and same thing... you left with nothing .

Sign... this few weeks ... my feeling just been corrupted by some love stuff... tired... i just need someone to be with me... share thoughts and secrets... well... i guess lee hom's 需要人陪 this song exactly saying what i feel...

Lonely... but , everything will be alright Li Yang... Jia you...
and stop crying... time to grow up...

Breaking The Chain

2010-10-15T08:17:00.000-07:00

Yes ! after some console from my friends ~ I feel more alive... And now ! I tell myself that i will get the things done!

I will break the chain that locked the gate of the cage... and get out from the sorrow world... No matter what happen... I will never look back and fight until the end of everything... I will create a bright future instead of walking back the history's track that lay by myself...
Please... wait me...

Fight until the end... hope the tiredness and sadness will not bring me down...

Cage

2010-10-12T02:01:00.000-07:00

Sign... Just feel that I been locked up in a cage... Lost a great listener ... well ~ haha , search for a new one...

Everything related to her just pop up her name in my mind...Songs , Tuition , friends , Night , moon , stars , trip , beach ... I dunno when and how can I solve this problem... Giving up is the decision has made... so what else can I do? The more i talk to her... the more the chance of pop-ing her name in my head... I know how to give up a thing that i dunno how to do... but i dunno how to give up things that I've learn... can someone tell me? I can't find her oftenly... I can't share secrets anymore... and for now on... I will listen to others' secret... but not sharing my secret...

I search for friends... one of my friend said... think that she is normal... don't think how special she are... well... lets try ...

I feel that i been locked up... I can't get out of it... sign... never mind , keep going Li Yang.

Kiss The Rain

2010-10-08T02:13:00.000-07:00

This few weeks ~ Rushing for a video ~ Phew ~ finally manage to finish before PMR end... but one thing i realize is that... The night is different this few weeks. My heart just feel empty... Strange feeling...

In the beginning of this year, there will be always someone who talk to me and just enjoy the night ... But this few weeks... the night is just went so silent . I always tell myself , Do it yourself Li Yang ... but i just keep relay on someone ... keep searching for help and always not believing in myself that I can do things alone without any people help or be there by my side...

Sign... well , should try to learn how to do it by myself =) , And for that onwards... Kiss the rain this song will always played in my heart ,go through my life by my side so that i will not feel empty...

As I Listen the song carefully, I actually realize that the melody is just so suit me when I doing something alone ... I feel that inside the song , there is a form of motivation , Consoling me and telling that... nothing is perfect... and that song is telling me that , time will erase everything... time Will also recreate a new things...

I hope that I will not re-made my mistake again in my own history ... There is more obstacles ahead... even I made it again... I shouldn't be so weak and fall again...

Kiss the rain... you will always be by my side...
Strange feeling... hope i can get rid of it faster...and fill my life with joy...

Cold...

2010-08-26T08:27:00.000-07:00

I feel cold... bloodless ... like just fall into a freezing pool in the winter... i can't feel my arm... i can't open my eyes... I am freezing...

Would anyone give me a hand?
someone?
I am dying...freeze to death...

I slowly close my eyes... try to feel my heartbeat... i can slowly feel it... What my heart trying to tell me? There is a hope... everything had an end and have a new beginning... its whether good or bad... I feel that i reaching the edge of the earth... coming to an end... and have a new start... The Autumn is coming... The beginning of life is coming...

Come on Li Yang ! fight until the end.

A T-junction ...

2010-08-02T05:06:00.000-07:00

This friday... is the day i choose my road ... whether is leadership or joy... i really dunno which way i going... but the only thing i know in this moment ... is the dawn is coming ...

Beautiful dawn... would you tell me that u are coming?
Beautiful dawn... Are they any sign showing that u are arriving?
Beautiful dawn... Can you say " I am here " beside my ear?

Sun crawling out from the darkness...
Sky changing their dull clothes...
workers grabbing bags and axes...

But what did just happen before the dawn?
Prey running away from their predator...
People suffering for insomnia...
But that just a little portion of it...

And I ... are counted in it...

Hope I choose the right way and don't regret what I did...
Let time cure my pain...

4S7 Trip...

2010-06-17T10:25:00.000-07:00

Well... it starts with getting on a bus ...
Around 3.00p.m ... taking bus to melaka with my friend Wen Li... can't wait to reach our destination... Cause our group of friend are waiting for us to go to jongkar street to enjoy buying stuff at the night market...

Around 5.00p.m... we reach our destination and our hotel called Hallmark... after we put our belongings... we begin to collect our joy along the jongkar street. It is still early for us to go jongkar street ... so we go visit one of the famous place in melaka... A' famosa gate... as we going to our destination... that time is dusk... what a nice sunset ... The sun rays... covering me and my friend's face...so warm ... As the sun set slowly...the sun shine and gives out a lonely light rays tone...Showing its last beauty in that day before it set... this moment were unforgettable...

After that... we reach our destination... the gate of A' famosa... all of us were enjoy looking around and taking pictures around the place , We actually saw double rainbow ... it was so nice ... This place is actually our first group photo... Nice~ ... standing beside the gate... closing up my eyes... i could feel those birds were calling their family members go back their own home... that time was dusk... so all the birds were rushing back to their own home ... From this moment onwards... i begin to worried that i will miss those moment we had in this trip... But how? the time is still running ! I can't stop it ! haiz... I only can appreciate it...

After Taking pictures at gate of A famosa... We go to pahlawan shopping mall and get some stuff... after that... we go to jongkar street to enjoy the food at there... it is nice ! Life in there was so amazing... so free... no stress... maybe some were having problems on money.. maybe some having problems on tiredness... well... they still had to live on...

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Day 2...
After having breakfast... we go visit nyonya house... after that... we begin our journey to Port Dickson ! XD ... Wait for so long...

As we reach Port Dickson , we were having so much fun at there... banana boat... playing crazy stuff like carrying our own friend and run for few meters... It was fun...

After that... we had a walk ... Our teacher that come along with us to join the trip has suggested a game for us to build up our bond between 4S7-ians... we are chosen to follow one partner and we must talk as much as we can in a short period... as the game begin... we begin to walk to a bridge where there is quite a nice view at there... As we walk... all of us have a great talk... I have been chosen to talk to the young teacher... well... quite many experience that can learn from her... after some time...The sun begin to come to an end... i was rushing and calling them to leave the spot and search for a good spot to see the sunset... But one thing teacher taught me is that... sometimes... sunset is not that important...compare to making up a atmosphere where people could talk between heart to heart, sharing their own secret, it was hard... In this part... i learn that ... sometimes sunset is not the most beautiful... Friendship is actually even more beautiful than sunset...

Although the sunset at that day was not so nice... but all of us had a good talk... in here... friendship shows it's beauty...

At night... we had BBQ and after that... we had our night walk at the beach... that time was land breeze where all the sea water where going away... so we had a big area to walk on ... That night had no stars... all stars were covered up by clouds... but i also quite happy because we had a great talk at there... Stepping on ice cold sea water... and listening the sound of the waves, This feeling were so soothing...
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Day 3
We had our jungle trekking to the top of the small mountain and to see the view from light house... it was Awesome! ... Third day... makes me feel sad... I hope that this trip will never end... keep on going... but how? i can't control time... At the top of mountain... we have taken a group photo... it was perfect... This is the place where actually touched my heart... it is so beautiful ~

After that... we had our lunch... we go back to our own state... we had our 2nd round after we reach our city... Karaoke ! After a great moment in a small Box , its time for us to go back home...

I hope that there will be next trip... there are still some of them haven join ... for the next trip... I hope all 4S7-ians can join and had a great time...
Same as last time... missing the sweat memorable moment that we spent in the trip...
I wan GO Back PD ~

Camp Preparation...

2010-06-05T08:45:00.000-07:00

Amazon...
My group name...
5-June-2010 , having camp preparation... this few days was really busy... but i really having fun with it... learn many things... Be a leader was a really difficult task... A leader must stay strong, have a firm heart when things suddenly fail... just like supertanker, propel against the tide waves...

Its really a good thing to join the camp... it was never be wrong... i actually find out many type of people ... Well , of course , I've begin to observer and analyze what they thinking so that i can help them up.

Haiz... the things that i worried have came back... that is missing every moment in LM... i hope the last day in Chs would never come ...

Be firm and stay strong until the end of the camp !

Miss My Sing-Song Group...

2010-05-20T04:57:00.000-07:00

Flipping through sejarah text book pages by pages...
Topic appearing one by one...
Some of them are just a topic created by words...
But some ... is created by memories...

2009 , Whole year study sejarah for many times... of course... quite many topic for me is familiar... And today , just suddenly meet a topic that familiar for me... Maritim... It reminds me the memorable moment that we spent in tuition...

Tuition... talk about tuition... many of their culture is study study study , teach teach teach... But last year tuition is not an ordinary tuition... it is an fun tuition! All of us actually have a great sing in sejarah and geografi tuition... especially i and carson... one of my friend...

I remember that every single time i begin a sentence from a lyrics... the group of friends especially carson will continue it perfectly... and we can keep repeat the song until the end of the tuition... it is so fun and its really enjoy to have this friend... this is what i wan... But now? i have less chances to play with those tuition group friends adi... I can only recall the memories that i spent with them... When could i have them back? seriously even myself , I also dunno...

Its really a pain missing something...

May...

2010-05-11T08:10:00.000-07:00

Busy life... Tired...
Still have a gap with friends...
Blur...
Trying hard...
Searching for hopes...
Keep it up... Don't Stop ...

Searching for Joy...

2010-04-21T05:54:00.001-07:00

Tired... Lost in my own world. This few weeks was really a busy week. Haiz... Long time didn't blog adi. Well , i guess i should learn how to appreciate my life. It was really tired... Problems like club activity, homework... and love... Why love? still lost ... searching for ways...

I dunno why i suddenly got a holiday fever on going for a trip. Enjoy the life without stress. Maybe my live just suddenly fall into a lake where full of hungry crocodiles. It makes me can't breath calmly and forced me to keep swimming to get out of the lake. The stress come too fast... Makes me can't follow the speed.

Back to main point, going for a trip with friends was really fun, no stress, no problems. Just like a fish, swimming around the pond freely. Just like the birds, fly beyond the bounder until the end of their life. Haiz... I guess I should wait until the time arrive for me to relax and enjoy...

My life goes on...Tired... hope it is worth...
Love? Still lost in my world...

A Changing Period From Teen To Adult...

2010-04-16T02:49:00.000-07:00

When i was form 3, my cousin ( form 4 ) use to tell me that Form 4 life is NOT a honeymoon year... well ,that time i treat it as a small little tiny stone that doesn't even affect me much in my life... that year for me was like... Other than PMR , there will be nothing worst than PMR... Form 4 life? haha, sap sap sui la!

As I slowly sneak in to form 4 life... i realize that form 4's life is much stressful than form 3's life...As I turning back watching form 3 life...I feel that form 3 life Can't even compare with form 4 life... Many problems... study , sports , club activity , friends... Haiz... Time is short... it is too fast... 1 and a half more years, and i will leaving this secondary school life... Jump across a divider of life and a new level of life appear... I hope the time could slow down... but what can i do? every second is ticking... Many people leave and come to this world...

This few weeks was really a stressful week. I actually realize that class 4S7's can't get back to the moment in February and March where we use to have... Missing was a pain... But what can I do? everybody is so busy and stress working on their on club activity or their love partner... Haiz... when will the feeling come back? Please! come back ! I want you! no matter how i shout , scream... it still takes time to come back... what else can i do ? wait...

Haiz... busy life makes me tired... But its good for me... makes me improve... Jia You! To me and every single friends !

The More I Hope, The least I Get.

2010-04-15T04:23:00.000-07:00

This few days have some problem with friends ... I Know that it was my wrong... Haha, it was so funny... Making my own self emo... I guess i plan my way to much... Afraid of how people think of me, maybe i should follow the flows of river in to the big sea... Many friends and cousin told me that... Don't plan my life... because once i plan, i didn't get what i wan, it become a negative thoughts for me ... but i still plan it ...

Never mind, humans born to learn... I guess i really had a great opportunities to learn ... Thanks for those who care about me... I appreciate it... With you'll help , i feel better and back to my own track... Searching for Hopes...

Don't plan everything ... Be happy and goes with the flows...

Stress But Meaningful Day...

2010-04-07T02:33:00.000-07:00

Morning in school...
Still as usual that we can play along... Life in 4S7 is good... but i dunno why... i feel that something is pulling me away from u all, like there is a gap between u all... tired? stress? Haiz... I dunno when i can still search for the sweat moment that we had in March...Friends in 4S7 ... like having party in the crowed heaven ... but me? Like a falling angel fall from the sky with the fluffy cloud and drop in to the rough sea without a single sound...

Afternoon in school...
Busying with those LM event stuff... still got many things haven do and this Saturday is the inter sector games event for LM... But in the middle of preparation , i found out that i actually see every one's personalities. Steady, calm, panic, selfish... Its really good to have myself in this event... I had to say...I learn something...
In the middle of this whole LM preparation , me myself... found out that I still had time management problem ... Need to change it...

In the middle of Ungu marching...
Today's marching was a mess... formation were totally out... The shape that we wan were totally out of shape... we wan diamond , it became banana... we wan V shape , it became U shape... Haiz...After that, talking with my friend , quite a good friend... he still having a problem with his love... I hope he could be more stronger ... Makes more friends... Life is not only love... Just like Jar , First you can fill it with golf ball until full... then u can fill it with sand until it reach the level of the mouth of the jar... and lastly , u add on with water. Through this process, we fully filled the jar with many things... Same thing... if we manage our things in life perfectly... then we will have everything... But how if I fill the jar with sand first?Then We will never able to put all the golf ball that given... In life... How if we fill our self with love? or keep thinking the girl? then we will lose our friends....

In the way going back home...
Going out school with a friend,a cheerful friend... Before that , both of us had been lectured just now because of bad performance in marching... well, for me... maybe train in house... of course my mood that time is abit low... but still ok... She suddenly ask me a question: "I seems to be high 24 hours right? you know what? we should be happy even when we sad..." Only this sentence... I strongly feel that ,our life is actually filled full of happiness... it is whether you willing to search for it , or not...

For 4S7... Believe me... give me some time... then i will be having fun with u all... especially Khar Wei... I am here to tell u that I really feel sry... A present with small mistake, i also didn't redo it and give it to u a perfect one...sry...
For Lm... Keep learning...
For a marching friend... come on ! Be strong !
For a friend that walk with me out of school... thx...

Conclusion: Stress with a reason... meaningful...

Give up...

2010-03-15T08:38:00.000-07:00

Since the day i born... giving up is always by my side... no matter what i do... at the end... give up will be there...

I remember last time... when i was form 1 , everybody seems to be happy on going lagoon... but in the end , the snow can't make it to summer...I try so hard to make it so that everybody could have fun...But in the last minute of the progressing, the trip cancel... The disappointment were just like the ice at the top of Mountain Everest melted and become a river ... flows to the sea ... never come back...

It just happen again this few days... same case... different people... Hoping to have a chance on going to lagoon...I keep telling myself not to give up... because i always believe i can make it this trip... i put my confidence in... I believe it... but in the end... i gave up... i cancel it... my heart were just dropped into a pile that full of black ink... and the sclera in my eye were just stained with black ink... the only thing i can see is black and white that came from the light rays of the sun...

Giving up... this was a weakness of my life... come to a fight... i am always the one who left the scene... Come to study... i am always the one who give up, watching my friend scoring an A and feel jealous... when i felt confidence on a thing...there will be someone who better than me... makes me feel like giving up... whats the point...fearing to face the obstacles...

I wan to get out here...this dark place...I don't wan to stay where am I... fear to face the truth and problems... Just like the picture... watching the sky from the dark room... waiting for hope without any improvement...

Be strong Li Yang... Give up is not your choice... Get out of here and show them what u got !

Things To Learn

2010-03-14T10:46:00.000-07:00

Certainty
Significant
Variety
Love and connection
Contribution
Growth

Insight into Decision Making - Good One

2010-03-14T07:48:00.000-07:00

Just past few weeks... reveice this e-mail... good , meaningful ...

A group of children were playing near two railway tracks, one still in use while the other disused.
Only one child played on the disused track, the rest on the operational track.

The train is coming, and you are just beside the track interchange.
You can make the train change its course to the disused track and save most of the kids.
However, that would also mean the lone child playing by the disused track would be sacrificed.
Or would you rather let the train go its way?

Let's take a pause to think what kind of decision we could make........ ........

________________________________________________________
Most people might choose to divert the course of the train, and sacrifice only one child.
You might think the same way, I guess.
Exactly, to save most of the children at the expense of only one child was rational decision
most people would make, morally and emotionally.
But, have you ever thought that the child choosing to play on the disused track had in fact
made the right decision to play at a safe place?

Nevertheless, he had to be sacrificed because of his ignorant friends who chose to play where the danger was.
This kind of dilemma happens around us everyday.
In the office, community, in politics and especially in a democratic society,
the minority is often sacrificed for the interest of the majority,
no matter how foolish or ignorant the majority are, and how farsighted and knowledgeable the minority are.
The child who chose not to play with the rest on the operational track was sidelined.
And in the case he was sacrificed, no one would shed a tear for him.

The great critic Leo Velski Julian who told the story said he would not try to change the course of the train
because he believed that the kids playing on the operational track should have known very well that track was still in use,
and that they should have run away if they heard the train's sirens..
If the train was diverted, that lone child would definitely die because he never thought the train could come over to that track!
Moreover, that track was not in use probably because it was not safe.
If the train was diverted to the track, we could put the lives of all passengers on board at stake!
And in your attempt to save a few kids by sacrificing one child, you might end up sacrificing hundreds of people to save these few kids.

While we are all aware that life is full of tough decisions that need to be made,
we may not realize that hasty decisions may not always be the right one.

'Remember that what's right isn't always popular... and what's popular isn't always right.'

Everybody makes mistakes; that's why they put erasers on pencils.

Truth & Lies

2010-03-12T02:42:00.000-08:00

When i was a kid... People tell me that not to lie... But how that guy know i am bluffing or saying a truth? When you telling a joke to your friend ... he/she is laughing... but izzit a true laugh ? A laugh that from the deep warm heart ? or it just bluff... a laugh that from a freezing ice... When a person cry... are the hot streaming tears that sliding down from a colourless face is what they feel in their heart? The tears... the colourless face... are the tears is came from heaven ? or it just a tears that came from the hell...evaporate... Cry with a reason ...

This few months... when a day came to a full stop... i always try to think and analysis whether the words from my friend are true or not... but i can't identified... Maybe the words are true... from the huge sky, never falls... maybe the words is just a words where you can found along the streets... dirty streets where nobody notice them...

Truth ... Bluff... what is between them? neutral ? middle? still haven found a word for it... just like a ying yang... you can find white inside the black path... you can find black inside the white path... just like bluff and truth... maybe the truth that they say is a bluff... maybe the bluff they say has a truth ... but you can't find a middle path that exist both black and white path ... All you can do is to find its black path and add on the white path in order to support each other... there will never be a path where just matched automatically without any changing... Just like friends ... it take times to have a friend...

Truth & Bluff... I hope i could know how to identified them...To appreciate the friends that truly treat me as a friend... and to be the alert that the friends trying to use me...

Learning... Thinking... Analyzing... Processing... Improving... Growing...

Memories in 3A6...

2010-02-22T01:56:00.000-08:00

Today... add maths class...
When I went for toilet before my tuition class starts, suddenly a girl that same class with me last year shouted my name loudly... until the whole tuition center could heard her shout ... But for your information...The tuition center isn't that big... well , of course i turn back with a surprised...

This moment ... this scene ... reminds me the class 3A6...the memories that I had in class 3A6... She use to shout like that in the class...In the class, I will usually look out from our class's window ,watching students playing football around... Fun... joy...But how about the situation in our class? More even fun... We actually had a group talk every single free period... laughing ... consoling... sharing... What we talk about ? Haha, stupid topic...

3A6 was my first so called A class... I never been to a smart class before that...In this class, I actually found a strong study spirits in this class... Come to think... the moment that all of us in this class preparing for PMR together was a unforgettable feelings...

Now everything has pass... And I strongly know that 3A6 this group of people will never be together in a class again... Miss this class? its useless... The moment that we had were just pass... it will never be present and future... Just like a soldier , sacrifice his flesh and soul to be a hero to serve his country ...When he is dead... It will never be alive again... and it will never reincarnate... All we could do , is to honor him ...Appreciate what he did and let his name stay in the history book of our country forever ...

Appreciate and enjoy every moment that is running in our live...

The Night...

2010-02-11T03:19:00.001-08:00

The balcony... same place... but different stories and feelings...

Few Years before... Having a night talk with my cousin , li chye, at the balcony...Sharing things... enjoying the silent & peaceful night... Around us were nothing but darkness... My cousin though me a method of watching stars... Close up eyes, had a deep breathe ...

The moment i release my eye's gate... Millions of stars high above the sky... The moon were round and covering the land with it's warm rays... Wind blows in a slow pace... This was the first time i saw the most stars in the sky...

Starry starry night... unlike the beauty of the days , sun hanging up the sky... birds fly beyond the bound ... Grass growing in the land of mother nature... When it is after rain ,waves of fresh air, washed by rain droplets has begin to rise... rainbow appear in the sky , showing her beauty... How about the silents night full of darkness? although their beauty were far behind... but when every person saw the millions of star dancing around, that's the moment where everybody begins to feel that the lonely stars were left out...

The light of stars... it took billion of years to reach our eye... Travel through this tremendous universe... they had seen the new birth of stars... growing stars... exploding stars and dying stars... It is just exactly same as our life...The birth period, growing period, sick period and in the end, pass away...

From that day onwards , i never had a chance to enjoy the night due to the reason of too busy... I have no choice but to rush and stay on my life track... Stars... i hope i have another chance to enjoy it,especially laying on the soft warm sand , enjoying the sea breeze blowing , watching the stars shinning ...

Busy life goes on...
"Twinkle twinkle little stars, how i wonder what you are~"

A Sry...

2010-02-06T08:39:00.000-08:00

Ee Ching... as i know you have been hurt by me for so many times ... Ignoring you... Din't listen what u say... But i have try me best to make you happy... Since everytime we begin to skype ...thats the minute i can't really hear what you say...

I don't mean to do everything i did ... I feel angry and the stupidly of myself on not giving much time on you and OB friends since the beginning of 2010... Saying hope to keep in touch with OB ? but i din't make it... I am so sorry that what i did... All I need is your apologize and your forgive...

I still remember the moment we spent in OBM... But many things is blocking me... Give me sometimes to think whats wrong with me...
I am sorry !~

Rising and Falling

2010-02-04T04:19:00.000-08:00

Dusk... around 7.30...I standing at my house's balcony ... Waiting for the falling sun to end a day...That's the moment where everything happened in the day locked in it.The joy , the pain , the suffer , the excitement were locked...Although it is a golden moment in a day... but it is always so short ... Just like a story... come to the end of the story , there will be happy ending or sad ending ... but it will never last long, not as long as rising action or climax... But the ending was the moment where readers will soon close the story book with their hand gently and hide their feelings & opinion about the book in it...And the reader will soon search for a new book where I called sunrise... new day begin ... new things happening ... and come to the end of the day ... The sunset will appear and showing it's most beautiful scene in a day... And everything that happened, will turn to memories ...

February , A rising of relation between a new group of friends... 4S7 , a new bunch of friends ...Having fun... endless joy... But it is busy ... can't stop improving in every ways ...
But for OB ? a falling scene...Getting far ... like a water filter filtering the minerals and the dirt for muddy water to a pure , odorless water...

We had not choice but to look forward... Hope I could have a new memorable moment with the new classmate and meet with the OB friends someday...

Look forward... don't look back...
"Run baby run !~ Don't ever look back ......"

The January

2010-01-19T23:05:00.000-08:00

First day , step in school and get to know my class... 4S7 ? Hoping for a good class... Once i know all 4S7 member , i afraid that there will be stressful study year... instead a year that could be having fun... But my predict where wrong... only third week the crowd is building up... hope this class got a great teamwork... But hope is just a hope... maybe i should do something for it...

Make some friends who i actually seen before but just passed by without a "hi" or "bye"... new year , new class , new friends... not bad !! haha ... As i heard someone say before... " There will be no strangers, but friends who haven meet"... Maybe i should use it in my school . Friends who haven meet... I should begin to search ... O ya, i should describe what i had for this year... hm... It is lucky to be same class with Mun Chun , zhen hao, pek se & Wen li ... Because they are the only one who i know them quite well ... but for the third week , i actually know half of the class of people , met Khar Wei ... haha, she was funny , friendy and... well , nice!It seems to be nice that both of us have a same interest on Piano, and we had a "easy but nice" handshake and it was created by her, her idea, haha...before that i had heard from Terence that group about her before... So... quite lucky to be same class with her ? i think ... And Yen huei... another friendy girl... And i had a group friend who actually spam "Yeah Bebeh !" every single time they see me... Nice !

For this year... I don't really feel good on my study... not in the way that i can't study... I just feel like i am gonna get the last in my class... my classmate are too smart... haha, hope I could get some support and score a better result...

Three week has passed since the last day of 2009... and i getting busy... I am so sad that i can't keep contact with OBM friends... I miss them so much... my ob necklaces never left me every single minute ... I hope we could meet again...

I must stand and hold...

Meet The Green... ( Day 5 )

2010-01-09T11:05:00.000-08:00

Activity:

Land Expedition

A new day of life! As usual we had our breakfast and we begin to get ourselves prepare... Double checked our load... let's roll out !

Ok, let me tell u more about our group member... how they help's the group...

Ok first... we had Guan Ki and Kim yew... they are strong and they actually making a road for us in the middle of the forest... like a jet cutting through the clouds... searching for a place that full of fields and mountain covering by light rays from the heaven...

Next , we had han and kelvin... both of them had done a great job on searching for direction ... without them it just like a group of member drop into a hole surrounded by darkness... Maybe they were just like a candle? or a fire touch with spirits leading the way... showing the direction...

Now...Fridaus, Ee Ching, Anish , Wee kii and imran... hm... so sry that i had not much to say on them because they din't had a job but anyway... I must say that they are very good on knowing what they are doing... I will never heard a single comment from them ... This group people knows the theory " everybody is tired , so don't yield ".

The Pacer & Leader... gaithiri & Danny... although is a bit weak on feeling tired... but one thing is that They think of our group ... our tired we are... there are still some people who carrying two tent sheets, and one gallon bottle... Other than that... Good...

Let me just roughly say the journey we had... We had our first peak soon enough... and we finish our last peak quite a short time compare to others group... alot of things happen in the last peak going down to the end of our journey... it was long and tired... One of the scene that still clear in my mind is that there is a half rounded hole in the middle of the slope and the rounded part of the hole is facing the peak... That part was the part that i had a very hard time on helping Ee ching and gaithiri to get down... my friction piece of my shoes came off... droplets sweat were skiing down from a big black mountain peak with tall skinny black trees to a bold mountain... legs were cried because his owner were simply using his legs jump across a slippery dirt ... But at the end , we made it... and I can't believe it that we get the 1st group on reaching the camp site... Without Mulu's member and spirit... we will never had 1st...

In this trekking , I learn that every steps that we take is very important ... it is whether you stand , u balanced or you fall... And to know which steps to search for, is to search for those trunks , you don't step on it , but you treat it as a step... It is just like a human life ... u took the right step... you will be success , if you took the wrong one... you fall... How about the searching part? search for the people who is well experienced... conclusion... Think wisely that every steps you made...

Ok ! we reached... put a tent sheet on floor... begin to talk... haha,here was the fun part... another joke session ... this was the place where i begin to get to know samuel and Hong Ping... just slightly some talks... not much ... and also felicia...

There is also a part that i quite remember is the bath area... that was nice... a lake... with no ripples... silent... calm... purely nice ! Closing up my eyes... could feel the wind blowing against my face like the mother's gold hand caressing my face... For a few minutes , a sudden feelings strike my mind... begin to feel sad because the time we separate is getting near ... Please, can anyone create a time warp for me to backtrack the time? we can't do that... all we can do is to appreciate...

Ok ! around 5.00Pm, got to set our tent now ! While setting up tent ... Get to know felicia that girl... Haha, she din't talk much to me at first ... but she is a good girl , with a cheerful emotional... ok... finish setting up tent , then Wee kii ,Kim yew and Guan ki are preparing for dinner... that dinner was damn nice ! especially the mushroom curry ... not only that, the mushroom was cutted by a warm cutter and a pro chief! Haha, that is Wee Kii !!! ...

Getting late... and we had a group meeting for mulu... just because that, we scare that our fire will put out... but lucky got the help of Li Min... this was the first time i had a very good feelings on her... helping us without a paying back in order to keep the fire lives on... although is just a easy process that just add on some woods... but it actually is a work that makes people feel boring... Thx to Li Min !

Time to sleep!... haha, tell u something that happen after i sleep... i snored ... Very loud... and everybody knows that the sound is came from me ... Aya !!! Damn embarrassing... and they said that the camp site is a hot spot... Guo Unn said that he saw something that it shouldn't be seen... supernatural... dunno is real or not... anyway... i just sleep , din't care that much XD!

What i learn ? steps that we take is the way where we going... Feelings? Grabbing the opportunities to be with my friends...

( Half of Land expedition is finished )

The last moment of freedom...

2010-01-03T06:11:00.000-08:00

Last freedom... still miss the moment that I had in OBML... tired... but going school is undeniable task... I have no choice but to look forward on new fun moment?

Last year was a tough but memorable year...December was a best month at last year... especiallythe moment in camp... we had a fun time on it... I think i will miss everything in that camp & friend in the camp... kayak... jungle trekking ...Our group member... and also the laughing sound of Ee Ching& Felicia... the jokes from kelvin and anish... and my twin...

2009 has pass... I think i shouldn't look back. maybe i should look forward for a new memorable moment? ... Hope so...

I think i will post my OBM life quite slow cause I need to study... Sry for the inconvenient and thx for your support!

My pass & Present

2009-12-30T10:26:00.001-08:00

My Pass until now!
Year 2007...Me , Tay Li Yang , as u are my friend , u know that who am i and what am i ,1C4 haha... not much comment ... just feel like gonna focus on study to make it in to better class...

1 Year After......
I finaly make it to the class , 2B5 and in this class i had made many friends . Like Chan Pek See ( My Class KT ) , Yee Ann Ann ( My Class PKT) Eugene Tan the Basketball player , Terence Tan the Joke Talker , Liang Zong the black kid or u can say that de sleeper , Ryan Peh the cool guy and Loi Fuang Zoung the Laughter ...... They are quite cool and They seems to be my LIGHT to pass throught the silent , dark pathway to form 3......Even though that their light are not buring , as long as our friendship or work together , its still bright ...... I hope that our FriendShip can last longer or even Forever !

2009... What!? can't believe it i get it in to 3A6 ... Actually , I learn many things in this single year... Friends? haha , i feel like making a better relationship between your friend is quite hard for me... maybe I can't make them laugh , maybe i am a guy who don't have a good attitude? who actually makes people dislike ? ... I still can make people around me like me... maybe i am just a guy who sit at a side and walk through my whole secondary life by myself? who knows ... i am not a god... but this year ... I learn that , to build a higher level relationship... it spend time to talk to them... and in the conversation... We should watch out our words... and we should think our next step... what are we gonna do ...Asking ourselves izzit the step that we taken are gonna hurt someone? Haiz... i still feel not so good in school... hope a new year have a new friendship... who knows? maybe i could find my first love? haha, haven break it...O ya! forgot to thank you one of my friend who helps me alot in this year....Wei Pang... he actually makes me feel like study& he share everything what he know about study... Without him? maybe 6A will be only 5A...

2010... my life in this year still pending ...Hope i could pass through with my cousin... Li Chye , All my OBML friend... and my close friend in school... The fate had gave me the chance so i must appreciate it...

Back To A Place Where They Called "Home"... ( Day 4 )

2009-12-27T20:20:00.000-08:00

Activity:

Sea expedition ( Half way )

Land expedition ( Training )

Briefing

At morning , the weather seems to be not quite nice... Hope the gods give us a chance on not summoning rain priest & wind guardian... Well , what can we do? Pray hard...

When we were packing our stuff up... Leafs begin to whisper to show it feel pain... what was it?Rain... he hits the land softly to show caution that more are coming... Haha, no choice... No rain? we kayak back , rain? we kayak back , Heavy rain? Still, we kayak back... tides & storm would not change our mind going back to our warm Home!

As same as yesterday...Around 8.00A.m ,we load and carry our kayak on put beside the beach...Done... Waiting for the order...

haha, o ya... haven say about the reflection that instructor told us...Instructor tell us that we must learn something what we did... yesterday? not a mess... but the diamond is getting bigger and last... became banana... today? we must fight for a perfect diamond... small but strong... a diamond that the waves can't move us... A diamond that can past through wave by wave, tide by tide... Hope we had a good corporation today...

Blow by wind...
Hit by waves...
Feel the breeze...

The moment David instructor call out the order... we get in to our kayak, we begin our journey... Is really hard to get on lane , waves keep making us fall... but in the end...We stand... As all our member gather and rafting together . we split and begin to move... Kayak today was pain...because we used up our energy and strength to across the Poseidon's territory ... but our soul will never put out like a burning candle , although the light is dim, but we had endless fuel ... teamwork is just like a fuel , The more teamwork we got , more fuel we got... more energy to go faster and longer ...

In the middle of the journey... one of leader couldn't stand the sea sick... she vomit ... after she vomit , she can even move a single finger... paralyze, soulless ...Andrew-our leader actually kayak all the way back to our Obm with his flesh ... He showed me that , as a leader...he/she should not fall easily... If his next move in that moment is call team member gather and wait until the girl leader to recovery... we will be hit and move backwards by the waves... that time we will maybe use up more that 1 hour , 2 hour or maybe 3 hour to reach our
destination...One word for what I've learn from here ... Determination...

"Come on , OBM is in front of eyes... I can see it... We can see it ! " shouted by leader... We realease any strength we got... forward... unstoppable ... On fire... Reaching OBM had overcome any problem in our heart... exhaust , giving up ...

The colour of the sea beside us is getting brighter ... And finally... We reached... This is the end of the sea expedition...
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
do.0b? haha, this is not the end of the course... afternoon, around 3.00P.m , we had our land expedition training ... haha, should I briefly tell u what job we got in our group ? Haha, alright here we go...

Leader: Danny
Parang man: Guan ki & Kim Yew
Navigator: Kelvin & Han
Pacer: Gaythiri
Iron Man: Anish
Maggi man/Life statue: Li yang( Me ) extra added...
Sweeper: Firdaus

Others? member...
Training is not that tough , just go around a peak and warm up our member who taken the job so that they get use to it...Around 5.00P.m... we have done our training...

Night time... we had our briefing for the next battle...Ok... that's all for today...

What I've learn ? Determination... Feelings? In love with the course...

Across The Poseidon Territory ( Day 3 )

2009-12-22T04:58:00.000-08:00

Activity:

Sea expedition

Rope expedition

Overnight

The training we had yesterday were passed .The easy day was yesterday,but not for today ... Today , is the time we release our spirit and skill on the battle field ... As instructor David said:" We don't know what will happen next ... Tides , storms ? but we must be prepared to face it..."

When we saw the sun was at the east above our eye level around 30 degree... we know that our time is began... Pack up... load... move out! We had 5 important role in this expedition... That is ...

Navigator : Kim yew&Guan ki
Left flanker :Li Chye&Daryl
Right flanker :Me&Kelvin
Sweeper :Hong Ping&Samuel
Leader :Andrew&Shu wen

My job for this expedition is to make sure our group member keep in the left ... make sure they won't go out of the group... Although our this whole expedition is quite tough... but every single drops of pain & happiness that we share were actually overcome our exhaustion... In this expedition , I had forgot what is pain... but i gain a new knowledge , the power of friends and teamwork! Other than that, i found out that mentally prepared is actually acting a very important role , without it , you do nothing... with it ,nothing negative could overcome you .It actually had a real example in the whole camp... For me... strong is just a strong... it just could help u in physically... but believe is the main point in mentally prepared .

After we reached.we had our lunch and we go for rope expedition somewhere around Pulau Pangkor . This was fun... as i said, we you saw it, it was scary , but u play it , u don't feel like stopping... If there is a second chance , i will appreciate it... O ya, haven't say how's the scenery ... that place is really nice... it is just like Poseidon's secret garden... sky blue... unforgettable...

When we came back,we begin to prepare our dinner... this is the moment i had my hand cut...Although i could feel the blood streaming ... but i had to say i am very lucky... if i exert the force on parang slightly harder... my finger will be no hope...

Night time... haha, this is the place and period where we ( Mulu ) actually share our chain to each other... Anish and Wee kii jokes telling first... and here comes our sick jokes king!!! Kelvin!!! haha , I never had a group that actually jokes around with all our members include , usually in school was just one or two person making fun ... others... watching show ... In this whole camp... the most lovable time is this time... after that , me, Kelvin & Anish sit at a big branch beside the beach ... that was good... the tides... waves... and the sound... was so steady and warmed my heart in the middle of night surrounded by darkness...I think i will never had this chance again even i wait for the thousand year's Frozen heaven to melt... Hope there will be a miracle... Maybe in the future we had a even better unforgettable place or scenery?no one knows...Just goes with the flow...

I think thats all for this day... I believe this is the place where we bounce our relationship to a whole new stage... Feelings?I was begin to fall in love with it...

Training... ( Day 2 )

2009-12-21T05:51:00.000-08:00

Activity :

Group Photograph

Open ceremony

Rope expedition ( Training )

Group Teamwork

Sea expedition ( Training )

Briefing

Group Photograph... this is the time that locks our 10 days memories in a small square paper... Full of Memories... Locked , Unreleasable ... It makes people sad but they still have it...

We had our opening ceremony just right after our photograph section... Robert James ( Deputy Directory ) roughly give us a speech about what we gonna learn in the next 9 days. Appreciate it .

Next we had our rope expedition training ... Love it ! Although it is just a climbing activity for about 8 meters , but it actually test the believe between climber , be-layer and ankle man. If the climber trust his be-layer, he could smoothly reach on top of the climbing spot... This is what i learn from Li chye... my cousin!

After the training,It is time for group activity . Easy ? not really...but there is a formula to solve it... Our instructor actually show us the differences between the power of individual and teamwork... Now i realized that teamwork stand the highest value in a team... As a team member... we should at least share his/her own point of view in a specific move... Thats what the team is! we had our lunch after the activity ...

Finish lunch... we had our kayak training... extremely fun!Never try before on kayaking... But one thing i should say thank you to my kayak partner-kelvinder. He helps me a lot on kayak... giving physically support! In this expedition... Thx kelvinder! In this expedition, I have learn that as a member in a group ,we must keep up the pace what the group is doing.Without the cooperation , the group will lost everything.

Basically for today is training . Tomorrow is the real day for all of our members , whether they can stand the obsticals or not... But still, Teamwork is the first role for the whole expedition...

Relationship ? haha ,slow in progress ... Feelings? haha , can't wait for the last day to arrive...

The Meet ( Day 1 )

2009-12-17T00:45:00.000-08:00

First day step in to a new world... Purely heaven...

Register in a hall called gym hall.First met with my new friend, Anish and followed by Han, Kelvin , wee kii and more... After we finished our registration, instructor-Encik Azmi now take us to our Dorm. Ha ha, can't believe that i actually had same dorm with my cousin-Li Chye .After settled down in our dorm, we had our dinner with Singaporeans...

Basically for the first day, I had nothing to say ...Although we slightly know each other that time , but still , silent's guardian were still around us... But , i should appreciate the God of Fate that actually tight all of us up in a same course... Well , thats all for first day...

The Day Before We Met...

2009-12-16T09:19:00.000-08:00

Du... du...
Du... du...
Du... , Hello ? Yang ah ? ...

I was staying with my cousin's family- Li Chye in a Hotel somewhere around OBM Lumut... That time was around 8/9.00 P.M . I was excited , but slightly afraid of meeting new friends... But ... at last ... i have made my mind ... just go in!

Mi~~ i miss you...

My god , haven reach the first day in OBM i have been missing my home...
Crawling out from a bottomless black hole ... Waiting for the last day to arrive... Could i fast forward the time? No, Li Yang ... u can't , so just wait...

The day before Obm ... was slow...

Mulu in the House.....

2009-12-13T22:13:00.000-08:00

Mulu in the House..... Hu ha !
Mulu in the House..... Hu ha !
Mulu in the House~~~ Hu ha ~~~......

Special thx to Oyp/acc 12 group member!Because of them , my blog were born ! I used the spirit of Mulu to officially begin my blog !